The Overheating Machine

I received a call from my friend the other day stating that his computer had been acting up since installing the second video card.  I told him I would come out and visit soon, and take a look.  He said the biggest issue he was having was that the screen would lag and the game would shut itself down shortly afterwards – a classic sign of overheating.

When I visited him and took a look at the setup, I did realize heat was still an issue.  He could get the computer to run fine, but upon heavy graphic load it would not react well.  I decided the best thing to do for him would be to get him a computer case with better airflow.  His current case was built for two smaller graphics cards that didn’t take up as much space.  With his new cards, they were taking up a lot of space and sitting in a stale environment without much airflow.

We decided to go with the Antec Three Hundred case – the same one I have at home for my computer.  The case doesn’t cost much, but is built for good airflow.  It comes with two big fans, as well as locations on the top, back, side, and front to blow around air.  I’m sure there are better looking cases, and some with better features, but for what we need to do, I doubt we’d find anything better for as good of a price.

Dual Graphics Card Upgrade

The other day I was approached by my friend to help him with upgrading his computer yet again.  In the past I had helped him set up a second monitor, upgrade his video card, and look at another computer he had been working on.  This time he was planning to go all-out with dual graphics cards, because if you do have the ability to run two, why would you not run two?

                The last time I upgraded his graphics card, we went from two Radeon 4800’s that came with his machine, and switched him to one 6950.  The new card was better than the other two, and he wasn’t’ really running anything too powerful to warrant a second card, but it was his money and his machine.  I advised him if he wanted to run the two powerful cards, he would probably need a new power supply too in order to be safe, so we looked into his options.

                For the power supply, we decided on a Rosewill 750W gold rated power supply, that was designed to run SLI/Crossfire setups, and had good reviews.  It was also on sale, so we saved some money on it.  The biggest problem was picking out the graphics card.  We had ordered an HIS 6950 from Newegg, which had since been discontinued.  We found a similar sized XFX 6950 on Newegg, which would work.  While I could probably have done some sleuth work to find another HIS model sold through a different site, I decided buying a model currently being manufactured would allow for better customer support if any returns or replacements would need to be handled.  The parts were ordered and arrived a week later.

The parts arrived without issue and I stopped over to install the components.  The old 650W power supply uninstalled easily enough, and the new one fit in without much issue.  I did have to double-check the connections were snug, as the new connections were more loose than I would have thought.  I also had to route a wire behind the side panel of the case behind the motherboard to connect to where the manufacturer had placed the hard drive.  The graphics card slid right into the open slot.  So the biggest concerns with the upgrades were not in installing the components, but rather came afterwards once everything was in place.

Once I had first hooked everything up and plugged in the computer, the first thing I did was watch and listen for anything abnormal, which thankfully didn’t happen.  The fans came on and slowed down to normal speed, the lights flashed normally, the hard drive was ticking away as it should be, and the computer beeped once signaling everything was OK.  I tested the CD drives to make sure the power connection was good and they could open and close, which they did.  I was pretty confident that everything would be OK.

Murphy has a law for situations like this, which states “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”  This turned out to be true, as I noticed the monitors were not coming on.  However, I did hear the sound of Windows starting, so I knew it wasn't as bad as it could have been.  I tried switching the monitor cables in the back, and I discovered that the new card had actually taken over the video output, and not the original card.  I did not expect the old card would no longer display video by default, but I decided to roll with it. 

I went into the control panel and saw that with the Crossfire cable connected, it was detecting that the two cards were installed, and I did see Crossfire was enabled in the ATI graphics control panel.  Everything looked to be good.  But then I heard a noise, like something was ticking that should be ticking, and then as I checked out the video cards, I felt one was overheating pretty badly for what we were doing with just being at Windows.

I was going to shut down Windows normally, but because of the noise and the heat, I had decided it would be best to turn the computer off as quickly as I could to reduce the risk of damaging any parts.  I held in the power switch and let the computer turn completely off, and turned my attention to the card and the source of the noise.  It took me a while to get the card out (it was burning me fingers) but when I did I saw that what was happening was the fans on the bottom of the card were actually hitting the wires on the bottom of the case, causing them to not spin, which would explain the noise and the heat.  This wasn’t good to discover, but I stepped back and looked at the situation. 

I checked the other card, and saw that the fan on this one was actually recessed into the card, rather than flush with the cover as the second card had been designed for.  If this first card was on the bottom, it would probably not hit the wires as the second card had.  So, it was either try switching the cards around, or break the bad news that the card may need to be returned.  But, we were in it this far, and I was going to see if we could finish the job.  If the motherboard was designed for dual cards, and the case was designed for gaming, well then there is no reason they shouldn’t be expected to work.

I swapped the cards and tested again, it seemed that this resolved the issue.  I kept the case open and left the computer on for a while, all while still monitoring the heat of the cards.  The card that was overheating was now running nice and cool to the touch, and the bottom card wasn’t hitting the wires or making any noise, so this was good.  The only step left was to test the computer with my friend’s latest and greatest game: Battlefield 3.

Now, the mixed results of the upgrade are that the card he originally had installed was already enough to run Battlefield 3 at high settings, so there wasn’t much of a difference we could see with the two cards.  His initial reason for installing the second card was to be able to run everything at ultra-settings without having to worry about any lag or performance issues.  We did set it to ultra, and the cards could handle it, but the frame rate was pretty low.  I tried to explain to him the difference between high and ultra-settings would not be too noticeable, and would still put a lot of stress on his machine even with the two cards because of how much more information and resources are needed to run this.  I was sort of hoping ultra-settings would handle flawlessly also, so I can understand his disappointment, but also understand why it would be an issue.

We were able to run the game with high-settings without any lag and in my opinion the cards ran smoothly on the game.  If nothing else we did get better FPS, and the cards had less stress on each than it would have with just the one card.  I did also decide to install a fan on the side of the case to blow cool air directly on the cards to alleviate some heat, as with the additional hardware this would be an issue.  Once everything was set up, it seemed to be working as OK as can be expected. 

Over the next few days there weren’t any reported issues from his end.  I am going to call the project a success, however I still do wish ultra-settings would have been an achievable goal for him.  I know there are still things we can try with his machine as far as upgrading the processor, maxing out the RAM, changing the case, going from Vista to Windows 7, etc.  But that would essentially require a new build, and cost quite a bit.  With what he has though, there shouldn’t be an issue with his machine for quite some time.  It would be awesome to have him green-flag building a new computer with his existing hardware and new technology, but we’ll see.

New iPad 2

I finally broke down and bought that new iPad I've been eying up for a while now. I haven't been wanting one for too long, but a tablet device has always been interesting to look at, and now with Steve Jobs gone, I thought I'd snatch up one of his last remaining creations before we're bombarded with so many cheap knockoffs that don't work nearly as well. I read some reviews and debated in my mind if I should get this, or save up for a laptop or a netbook. I had come across a couple iPads in person, and after playing with them for a while, I decided it would be best to get the iPad instead.

So, what is so good about an iPad over a laptop? And what is so good about an iPad instead of any of the other tablets out there? Well for one thing the iPad is a very well built device - it has a large display and works very well for viewing content. It was made by Apple, so I know it will be reliable and high quality. One thing I enjoy doing on a tablet vs a laptop is reading books, magazines, news articles, and browsing the web. The touch display makes it easy to scroll through, click links, and view information. Today's technology does this seamlessly. I also enjoy how the iPad 2 is very portable compared to a normal full-sized laptop.

Now, I do need to admit there is not a keyboard, which is annoying - especially when I can still browse to all the sites (such as this blog) and not being able to type as I would like. The on-screen keyboard doesn't have the same key layout or size, so it takes longer to get to the characters I often use. I feel with the display, while good for viewing content, is very small when the keyboard is up. I also feel the display is too small for some applications built for the iPad 2. For example, I bought the GarageBand application, and while the drums are easy to beat on and make noise, the keyboard instrument is very small for the fingers. Clicking and dragging items is also hard to do without a mouse.

Social media on the other hand - it is very easy to do with the iPad. In just a few taps I can share a video or picture from the iPad to Facebook. I can enter status updates and view other articles or picture people have on their wall seamlessly. I also enjoy how the iPad does one task at a time, but remembers where you just were, so you don't have to keep toggling between windows or keep several applications open. For example: if you click on a link, the web browser opens full screen to display that article. If you close the browser and click the Facebook app again, you'll be right where you left off. This is done almost instantly without having to wait for the program to load again.

The camera on the iPad is crappy, but much nicer than not having a camera. My old iPod touch didn't have a camera, or a microphone, or all this processing power and battery life - and I still thought that thing was cool. You can imagine how much nicer the iPad feels to me. I also like how easy it is to play games such as Angry Birds on the larger display. One thing I didn't like is how iPod/iPhone apps have to be stretched out on the iPad to fill the screen and lose that crisp resolution, but still very playable. Everything that the iPod/iPhone had on it is much bigger and easier to browse on the iPad - such as the app store and the iTunes store.

The iPad was not meant to create a lot of content, but more to view content. This I am OK with, as i do enjoy all that can be done with a touch screen and enough room and processing power. I can't imagine a better tablet or a better use for touch screen technology. This device syncs up with all the photos, documents, music, and such on my home PC and really feels like a good accessory to have around. Would I trade it for a laptop? Nope. Not even a nice laptop. Would I like it to have a keyboard? Maybe, but then again if I did, that would take away some of the novelty of it being a tablet and ruin the sleek form factor and portability.

One thing I am really using the iPad for a lot these days is reading books. I thought it would be difficult for a book to get my attention on a device that also had games and movies and music available - but something about having a nice page of simple, clean text in front of me is very appealing. I like the feeling that the iPad can be use for a number of purposes, and it doesn't do just one thing. I can tweak it to be whatever kind of device I want. I can do something as simple as read a book, or I can be doing something as complex as making a music video to share with someone halfway around the world. This is an exciting time we're living in - where we can combine the simplicity of everyday life with the complexities of technology and make it work for us and not us having to work for it.

SOPA

So, today is January 18th - the official biggest day of protesting against the SOPA act being submitted for the government to vote on later this month. News of this is all over the...well the news. And some sites have blocked service for the day, others are posting images and links to draw attention to the SOPA protests. It was all over the public news, all over the local news, all over the national news, all over the radio and TV and internet. You'd have to be living under a rock to not have heard of it as of late. I'm sure people are still talking about it - I know I am.

So, what is it I can say about SOPA that hasn't already been said? Not much. I am sure you've all heard how SOPA was created to solve a large problem over the internet today, which is media piracy. I understand the need for action too - especially when everything is going digital. We're looking at a not-too-distant world where everything is stored on the cloud and a world where everyone is connected to the same line that every bit of information ever written down, broadcast, thought, or drawn resides. Intellectual property is more online than ever, easier to obtain, and harder to police. So there is a relevant need to lay some laws down on this lawless internet landscape we're currently living in.

SOPA itself is not a bad idea. It is a good idea to protect intellectual property and protect people's right to create and own their works. It's a good idea to crack down on sites providing illegal downloads, provide more strict penalties to offenders, flag harmful or illegal sites, and really reveal this monster on the internet for what it is. I am all for intentional and unrelenting pursuit of sites that are themselves purposely and knowingly participating in piracy an other illegal acts online. What I am against, and what I believe the majority of anti-SOPA movement members would agree upon, is the fact that SOPA would lay the groundwork to take down companies on bogus claims, on the smallest technicality, and from posts from users they can't always police themselves.

The internet has so many sites and tools available to it and the users, there is no way that a large site such as Google or Facebook or Wikipedia is going to be able to always monitor everything that is going on with their sites at all times. If they were to comply with laws that required this, it would take away a lot of user generated content - both currently in existence and in the future. Many items already out there may need to be removed and new items would be more difficult to submit and share. People wouldn't be able to post links, videos, blogs, articles, music, forums - none of this unless it was either all personally approved by a company before submitting, and even then many features would need to be disabled just to be safe. People would become very paranoid and the internet would no longer be about free speech.

And that's the thing - the internet is made up of privately owned computers, servers, switches, routers, hubs, ports, and addresses. These are not owned by the government. The government has their own information posted on the internet and they own their own equipment, but they don't own the internet. If I want to email my friend, the government does not and can not own that. If I want to share a video clip link to my cousin - that is between me and my cousin. If I want to post something on a web site, that is between me and the site owners. As long as I am not stealing any copyrighted material, claiming someone else's work as my own, or distributing pirated content - then what business is it of anyone what I post, share, or view online? What part of anti-piracy would play into information completely unrelated to piracy?

If we want to control the internet, we can do this on our own dime, as we see fit. We can set up firewalls, create anti-virus programs, use the right tools, block sites on a personal level, and choose what we will allow into our computers. Companies can restrict content as they wish, but it shouldn't be mandated. What we can't feasibly stop the internet from doing is allowing people to create their own content, share their thoughts, post their links, and do whatever they feel they want to use the internet for. We can't control this anymore than we can control what shoes someone chooses to buy, what tie they want to wear, which car they want to drive, and who they want their friends to be. At the heart of the internet is that thing that makes us human - the freedom to be and act and express ourselves in the way we choose. To take that away from us, it's inhuman and very anti-American.

Unsocial Networking

I liked the days of instant messaging. I appreciated how I actually had to get emails from people and ask if they had instant messaging. I could always see when they were online and I could stay on and have a chat. I mean a meaningful chat too. I remember having pages and pages of typed conversations with people - all in real time and without having to use a phone or waiting for an email to come back. Every time I logged online it was an adventure to see who was going to be on or might show up, and what we might talk about. We had Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, AOL messenger - it was a lot to keep track of, but it was fun.

Of course the next big thing after IM was MySpace. The reason I liked MySpace back in its day was due to the way we could customize our profiles, It was truly my space. It was your space. It was everyone's own personal space. It was like saying "Welcome to my life. This is who I am, and this is how I want others to see me as." We could change our background and fonts and colors to what we thought looked good. We could set music or choose not to. We could have our top friends, follow who or what we wanted, and share posts about our everyday life and what was going on. This was instant messaging enhanced. Now we didn't have to wait for someone to be online, we could check out what they were up to, leave comments, and catch up with them whenever.

When Facebook came around, it was a revolution in itself. Not only did it allow the same basic functions as MySpace, but now we all had a nice simple, clean look. And we had gadgets and games. There weren't ads all over the place, we didn't have to "like" things, and our Facebook pages weren't just one constant news feed. We actually had things on our Facebook page that made it unique. We had "bumper sticker" and "flair" on our pages. Our interests were all listed right there on our front page for anyone to see.

Of course once Facebook took over and overshadowed the popular MySpace, this idea of "social networking" came into place. To me social networking means one of two things. One being that it is a fancy name for how companies can target ads at people. The other being a good excuse to say you like someone and then never have to talk to them because you "liked" something they posted last week. Facebook is now one constant news feed application, and has basically become a home for one-liners and sharing cat pictures. Because of Facebook our social interactions have watered down into logging in, posting a few likes, and then getting some ads. That's it.

You know what I dislike most about all this? I don't do "social networking." I'm sure a lot of people don't. I don't want to grow and connect and be part of a crowd. I don't want to have hundreds of followers just for the sake of having them. I don't want my online social interactions to be so empty and thoughtless as just liking random posts and posting a YouTube video. This new Google Plus is out now - I don't even... I mean, how much of a social life does one need to start putting their friends into different groups and managing them depending on how well they know them? If you're into that, then I am sure it is a great tool. For me though, I don't have the need or want to have to ever manage that many people so meticulously and constantly.

The social network machine has become something so cookie-cutter and so unprofessional and impersonal and so full of ads that I really don't want anything to do with it. I want more of an "unsocial network" like the way things used to be. I just want my own personal online space. I want a space me and my close friends can share and the rest of the world can stay out. I want a place I can stay social, but not connected. There used to be a place like that. That place is gone, but I hope someday, some way, somewhere that will come back.

Public Bathrooms

For the longest time I've never liked public restrooms. I was paranoid of them, disgusted of them, and down right avoided using them unless I absolutely had no other option. For a while I was a "stall man" especially at those really creepy public bathrooms (such as a wayside or a crowded mall). I never really knew why I was so afraid of public restrooms, or why it was that I seemed to care more about avoiding them than most people. Was it hard to use a public restroom? Not really - just go in, do your business and leave. So why did I dislike them so much?

Some people wonder why people like me are paranoid. I wrote it off as as just a phobia I had to get over for a long time. Then I realized something - why should I have to get over it? Why should I give into my bathroom comfort levels just because it is normal? I'll tell you something - using a public bathroom isn't normal. It isn't comfortable - it isn't even right. An you want to know why? It's because you're literally sharing a bathroom. That should never be considered normal.

Think about it - at home do you just let your people walk in and out of the bathroom while doing your business? Do you leave an open door policy for parties to let friends come and go while your dropping some nuggets? No, you don't. Because it's gross, it's personal, and it is private. If you don't feel comfortable having your uncle wandering around the bathroom while you're trying to use it, why would you feel any more comfortable allowing some creeper from the street share this room with you? Or your co-workers, or your boss? It's just not right.

Now what amazes me is that we live in a society that prides itself with plumbing, electricity, vending machines, clean floors, working roadways, flat screen TV's and very nice iPods. We live in a sleek, streamlined future age in a first-world country. We should have the highest of creature comforts. Yet time and time again we have to disregard these comforts to act like animals and all share the same bathroom? I mean, we don't even have stalls without gaps between the doors for at least a little privacy. We don't have locking doors, we don't even have any music playing. Public bathrooms are dead quiet and provide quite an echo - on top of everything else.

In my perfect world, every bathroom would have stalls which acted as their own private rooms - with enough room for a toilet, toilet paper, magazine rack, a lightbulb, and a switch for a very loud and efficient fan for privacy and ventilation. Also a little sign that says "occupied" when in there, so people won't be knocking. Urinals would all have a divider between them, sinks would be behind a separate wall, and there would be soft music playing at all times. There would also be more than enough stations to do your "business" and overcrowding would be at a minimum.

I work in a building that fits the mold of everything wrong about public restrooms. Everytime I go in there, I can't help but think I shouldn't have to live this way. I also can't help but think why they keep designing crappy restrooms in otherwise non-crappy workplaces.

6AM on a Sunday

One of my favorite times in this world is somewhere around 6AM on a Sunday. I like the feeling of getting up before everyone else, and I mean everyone. Before the people at home, before the dogs start barking, before the sun rises, before the birds sing - the whole world is in slumber save for little ol' me. I like making an early morning pot of coffee and sneaking quietly downstairs to the computer. I like turning on some quiet music or reading some articles about what is going on in the world. I like the thought that I don't have to go anywhere, be anyone, or do anything. I like that feeling of an open-ended morning, with a few hours to just be by myself and the freedom to think what I dare to think and be who I dare to be - if only to myself.

Although one thing I don't like about time is how fleeting it is. It seems as soon as I settle down to enjoy some part of the day, by the time I are actually enjoying it it's already come to another part of the day. At times it feels like I can never catch up. I wish at times I could freeze the clock at 6AM come Sunday morning. I wish I could put off having to brush my teeth, having to use the bathroom, having to freshen up for the day. I wish I could put off having to meet anyone, go anywhere, or having to do anything important. Heck, I'm happy with my cup of coffee - sometimes I wish I could even put off having to eat.(Granted, when my fiancee decides to cook bacon and the smell wafts down to me, I change that feeling rather quickly...)

I also like the feeling of a Saturday night where I can stay up online until 2AM. Those nights are rare, but being alone, in the dark, up on the computer lurking in the shadows of the internet - those are great times. I like Saturday mornings when I can go to the hardware store or work on some home improvement projects or working with the car or cleaning the garage - that is a great feeling. I like at night, just before bed, where I can collect my thoughts and just wonder and talk about the deepest things in life. I really like the times when I find myself in the middle of a snowy day or a thunderstorm where things are thrown a bit into chaos and excitement.

And the greatest time and the greatest feeling of all? Playing hooky and taking a nap while everyone else is at work. ...But I can't do that much as that is grounds for termination. Still a great feeling though.

The Day a Stranger Died

I heard about her through an email today which was tucked into the large pile of helpline tickets, emails, phone calls, and meetings. I just glanced at the subject line: "The Clinic has lost a valued employee." I didn't think much of it - probably it was some old man or woman who died peacefully in his or her bed after having since retired from the clinic years past. It was nice of the Clinic to remind us of those past workers, and to know that their stories wrapped up so nicely. I was going to just delete the message - after all I didn't know the person. I didn't really care to know the person. His or her story would not be one to effect my life.

I decided I would open it, of nothing else but because I have a side fascination with death. I thought I could get a little story about one's life, and reflect on it for a bit. Could be a good stress relief - being reminded that no matter how overwhelming and crazy life can get (work especially) that one day we all die. So I decided to read it. The email was not for an old man or woman at all. It was about a young woman.

I was a little shocked as I read through the article and clicked on the link to the obituary. Her name was Melinda (or something like that). She has been working in the same building as me for the past six years. Everyone liked her, she brightened everyone's day. She had a good education, helped out others, and came from a good family. She was young too at 34. Her cause of death? A brain tumor that was discovered a few months ago. Hard to believe, but within that short amount of time she had been diagnosed, she lost everything. And everything lost her.

I can't imagine what that must be like. To one day be successful, happy, and planning out the rest of your life, and the next to realize you only have a short time to live. People shouldn't have to go through this. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her family to hang on with her through it. I can't imagine what it must have been like for her to go through it. And then to get progressively worse until the end? I know i'd be very scared if that were happening to me. I'd try to act tough for a while. I'd try to deny it. I'd probably try to laugh about it or look on the brighter side of at least knowing how much time I had left to plan accordingly. But in the end, I know i'd be scared.

I never saw her in the hall, I never talked to her, I never even heard her name before I saw she had passed. I decided, since I did work the helpline, I would at least get a small idea of what she had been through working in the same building as me. Our helpline has a system to look up calls placed by name. I put in her name. Not thinking I'd see much - I did see that I talked to her once. Back in August - back before she had known anything. I have a good memory with people I've met. I did remember talking to her and how nice she was to work with. It's just, how in the short while I've been working there the fact that she went from being young and healthy to the point of having passed on... Life is just too damn short and precious.

I wonder how common these stories will be as I get older? How many ways will I see people go, and how should I feel about it? I can't change what happens. I can't really stop it or make it better. I just have to sit and reflect on it. Maybe little by little learn to appreciate what I have. Today I learned a stranger died, and it really made me think.

The first 25 Years

I am 25 years old today. That will mean, if I live to be 100, the first quarter of my life has already been spent. Lately I've been thinking about this, and how much I am going to miss those first 25 years. I am going to miss all that I’ve experienced and will no longer be able to return to. I've been thinking about all the challenges that await me in my next 25 years - and the years to come after that. I wonder if I did enough in these past 25 years, and what I will need to focus on as being the most important as I get older. I look to my dad, who will be 50 next year. I look to my grandpa, who is rounding off 75 years. I can sort of get an idea for my future and what to expect.

From where I stand, the next 50 years don't look too bad. My families as they age seem to keep all their parts and their wits about them. My grandpa is still able to get up in the morning, go to the hardware store, do some repairs around the house, do road trips, work on the computer, maintain a garden and lawn, meet up with friends, and volunteer in the community. My dad seems to be able to do all the things he’s been doing since I’ve known him and hasn’t slowed down much. In the coming years in life, aging and losing my ability to do the things I physically want to do are not any of my big concerns.

My biggest concern for turning 25 is all the responsibility and life changing events that 25 and older brings. Things I never had to worry about or felt I should even care about up until this point. Until the age of 25, one is expected to act a little immature, have a bit of fun, stay up late, go out to parties, drive a little crazier, and just be a little more carefree and wild. I feel around the age of 25, I need to move past that and become more mature. This means all the things I didn’t do between the ages of 18-25 that I may have been meaning to catch up on, I need to come to terms with and let go. That hangover trip to Vegas probably isn’t going to happen. I probably won’t get to have that coming of age road trip across country before settling down with a family, and I definitely won’t be able to have any epic college parties in my dorm. Now that I am 25 and entering the second quarter of my life, I need to focus more on being mature and what is most important.

Another thing sitting on my shoulder that I can’t shake is knowing that in my first 25 years, I’ve managed to hold on to everybody. I mean, I haven’t lost anyone really close to me through death. In a way, deep in my mind, this has provided a sense of ignorance about life and a sense of innocence I’ve yet to lose. In a way, I am nervous because I know in my next 25 years something like this is more likely to happen. I’m also aware that I am closer to the age where my generation takes charge of things and the generation before me starts to wind down and let this go. I’m also going to start seeing the next generation be born and grow, and see who’s going to be taking care of me as I get older.

It won't be bad though. I look forward to having that peace of mind and sense of security and belonging in life that usually comes from being 25 and older. I wll be more mature and people will take me more seriously and trust my judgement more as I get older and settle down. I expect I will have even more common sense and knowledge than I do now. (Which I already enjoy knowing more than I did years ago). I will be able to appreciate what I have in life more than I did in the past and have more stories to tell. I might even appreciate a good book now and then.

Overall I feel my first 25 years have been good. I’ve made enough memories and have done enough with my life thus far that I am not ashamed. I’ve made mistakes and missed out on some things, sure – but who hasn’t? I didn’t turn out a loser; I have some common sense and some education. I have a decent place to live, a car that runs, and I am in charge of my life. I will miss the past, and I am nervous about the future. But I am not afraid. I am not ashamed. And I am ready. That is what I was hoping I would feel at this point in my life. I can handle the future. I am 25 today.